


Taking the shot

by abbyss



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Comfort, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 17:47:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20679413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abbyss/pseuds/abbyss
Summary: Christen is laying awake late at night again, thinking about a certain someone that is messing up her mind. Finally, she decides to ask a friend for advice and open up about her feelings, hoping to get some clarity.





	Taking the shot

It was 11pm and Christen still lay awake, even though she had to get up early the next morning for training. She had been trying to fall a sleep for some time by now, but something, or more specifically someone was messing with her mind. This special someone was keeping her up at night, was taking away her focus during the day. Every time their eyes met, they touched or were just simply around each other, Christen would feel her concentration fade every more and more. Lately, all she could think about, was her. Her smooth voice, her toned body, her movements, her perfect smile…

“Ali? Are you still awake?”, Christen whispered into darkness.  
“Yeah. Why are you asking?”, Ali responded.   
“Can I ask you something? Something … uh… personal?”  
“Sure, I guess.” She heard a little rumble, coming from the bed just a few meters away from her own, when Ali moved around to face her.  
“Um, did you…when you…” Christen paused, struggling to find the right words and the courage to ask what she wanted to know, both because she wasn’t sure if the answer would please her and ease her mind and at the same time because she was afraid of subsequently exposing her own feelings.   
“How did you feel when you realized you were in love with Ashlyn? I mean, how did it affect the way you saw yourself, when you previously considered yourself straight.” Christen paused and closed her eyes. Not that it made a difference in the dark hotel room, but still, it made her feel a little more comfortable.   
“I was…not exactly surprised, but a little confused, maybe. But overall, it didn’t change the way I saw myself that much, I think. Like yeah, that was a new thing I found about me, but didn’t change me as a person or anything.” Ali paused, waiting for Christen to answer, but Christen’s thoughts were circling, making her unable to answer right away.   
“Why do you ask?”  
“I was just wondering.” Christen said, not exactly lying but also not exactly admitting the truth behind her curiosity.   
“Chris…”, Ali began. “I see that something’s up with you. You usually aren’t that unfocused during trainings. Are you…”, she paused again. “Is it because of Tobin? I see the way you look at her and how you react when you two touch”  
Christen remained silent. She knew that if she tried to hide the truth it wouldn’t work with Ali. Christen sighed and took a deep breath trying to calm her nerves, before she finally decided to speak again.  
“Yes.” Again, silence settled in.   
“Do you wanna talk about it? I don’t wanna pressure you do to something you don’t want to do but maybe it could…clear things up a little to talk to someone who has been in the same situation. Being in love with a team mate.”, Ali suggested. Maybe she was right, Christen considered. What harm would it do to open up about how she was feeling? Ali wouldn’t tell anyone else, she how scary the thought of everyone else knowing was.   
“I think you’re right. I think it could help.” Christen said. Ali sat up, reached for the lamp on the night table and turned on the single light.   
“Sooo, how long has this been going on? I mean, when did you first realize that what you feel for her is different?” Ali inquired to know, now leaning forward a little and directly facing Christen.  
Christen sighed again and broke eye contact.   
“A few months ago, I figured that this was more than what you usually feel for your friends. I…I started to feel jealous when I she gave others more attention than me, I wanted to be around her as much as possibly, I wanted to be the reason she was in a good mood and smiling and I felt hurt when she expressed interest in someone other than me. That’s not what friends feel, do they?”  
“Is she interested in anyone specifically at the moment?” Ali asked.  
“No, I don’t think so. At least not that I know of.”  
“Do you think it is possible that she feels the same for you?”  
Christen paused. “I’m not sure. We never talked about anything like that, but I also kind of try to avoid thinking about that because I don’t want to get my hopes up when I really shouldn’t.”, she admitted.  
“I get that. I really do. I did the same thing for quite a while. But, let me tell you one thing: trying to avoid thinking about that, only makes you think about it more because you try so hard not to. Also, by that you’re completely prohibiting yourself the possibility of having something great.”   
Christen lay still under her bedsheet and stared blankly at the ceiling. Her thoughts kept spiraling, thinking about her being Tobin’s girlfriend, how great that would be. How they would vacation together, live together, make each other the happiest people on earth and just simply having this deeply loving connection to one another, that Christen craved so desperately.   
She was dragged out of her thoughts when Ali came closer and touched her arm. “Chris, are you okay?”, Ali asked, the slightest tone of worry in her voice.  
“Yes. I am just thinking. I am wondering…what if I take a shot at it and she doesn’t feel the same? Wouldn’t it make it weird between us? It could ruin our friendship and it could even ruin the chemistry on the field. I wouldn’t want to make it a big deal and drag the team into it, if it goes wrong.”   
“I was wondering the same thing, back then.” Ali admitted. “But I thought that I, and her as well, are professional. We can’t let whatever personal thing we are going through influence how we play, our job. And I just had to be confident enough in both of us that we were able to be that professional. If not then we might have the wrong job, I figured.”, Ali explained with a little laugh at the end. Christen chuckled.   
“I think it’s worth the risk, Chris.”, Ali concluded. “After all you’re a forward, isn’t it your job to always take a shot?” At that, Ali and Christen both started laughing.   
“Well, I have to admit, you’re not bad at pep talks.” Christen said, between laughter. She tried to regain her composure and turned on her side so she could look Ali in the eyes.   
“Thank you. I think you might have actually helped me gain the last bit of confidence I needed to bring it up with her in the near future.”, Christen said in a serious but soft tone.  
“You’re welcome.”, Ali responded. “But now, we should seriously try and sleep or that training tomorrow will be a lot harder than it should be.” With that Ali lay back down and turned off the lights.


End file.
